Offsides!

I received this email from an apparent trap-o-phile, and personal friend, earlier today:

"So I'm going to sheepishly admit I know NOTHING about any of this "fantasy" realm of sports in any nature - so if/when you have the time and aren't too embarrassed to explain it to the sports-dumb, could we maybe have a tutorial on it? Just broad strokes are cool. :)"

It was at this point that I realized that perhaps I had jumped the gun a bit. I know that at this point my readership is small, and really limited to friends... and that despite spending more than 5 minutes in my company it was possible that I had not adequately explained what exactly is fantasy hockey.

Fantasy Hockey and fantasy sports in general is a game for nerds who always wanted to be jocks or jocks that were secretly kinda nerdy. It is basically a way to take a passion for a game, and find an outlet for it in a way that involves some strategic thinking, mathematical know how and scary level of knowledge about the game... or you know a tremendous amount of luck.

Fantasy hockey is an excuse to stay up and watch the west coast games when all you really want to do is see Joe Sakic skate. Fantasy Hockey is a reason to check EVERY box score of every game that's been played to try and unearth that next sleeper left wing... when really all you are doing is spending way too much time paying way too much attention to a game. Fantasy hockey makes you pay attention to things like ice time, line combinations, minor league statistics and who is on the first vs. the second powerplay unit. It makes you sit up and pay attention when Doc Emerick tells you which college a particular forward went to.

Fantasy hockey gives you a way to take your love and passion for a sport and measure it, apply it to something that is ultimately meaningless except for bragging rights. Its a way to go deeper into the sport. And its a really good topic of conversation amongst other like minded dudes (or dudettes) over a frosty beverage.

But in practical terms Fantasy hockey, and fantasy sports in general, is basically a statistically based game. At the beginning of the season you "draft" a team, usually forming "leagues" of about 10-12 people. How well you do is then judged by how well your players statistically perform in their actual games in the real life NHL (as opposed to a fantasy one with ogres and knights... or french maids and superheroines... if you prefer).

There are Rotisserie leagues (leagues based entirely upon stats as measured across the entire year) and Head to Head leagues (leagues where your stats for the week are measured against another team in your leagues stats for the week).

There are also more complicated leagues. Leagues that use a "salary cap." This means that each player costs a certain amount to draft and you only have X amount of dollars overall to populate your team with. This form of league rewards finding "sleepers" (players whose statistics have not been historically great but who are in line for a 'breakout campaign') even more so then your average league.

There are also keeper leagues. Leagues which stay consistent from year to year and in which you can keep players that you drafted the year before. The rules for these leagues are as many and varied as the participants themselves.

The principal statistics which are used to measure a players performance are:

G: Goals. The number of times a player puts the biscuit in the basket.

A: Assists. Also known as the Adam Oates special.

+/-: The number of times a player is on the ice for a goal for his team at even strength (+) vs. the number of times he is on the ice for a goal against his team at even strength (-). This is largely seen as a measure of a player's defensive abilities, though it may just mean he was playing in front of a crappy goalie or on the ice with crappy defensemen... unless he is a defenseman in which case its probably his fault.

PIM: Penalty Minutes. Why this is a positive for your team is confusing to even me... presumably because hockey has always been a sport that has celebrated its toughness and its enforcers. No team can be successful, even in the current, some say more nancified league, without a little muscle and so your fantasy team needs it as well. Or... you know because its a measurable number.

PPP: Powerplay points. The number of G's or A's your player has while his team is on the man advantage (meaning a player from the other team is getting PIM). Some leagues also measure Shorthanded Goals or points, (SHG and SHP respectively) which are points scored by your players while their team is on the penalty kill

SOG or SH%: Shots on goal or shooting percentage. Usually a league will use one or the other. To use both would, in many instances, cancel the other one out. Which one your league uses may be crucial to which player you select where. For instance Dallas' Mike Ribeiro scored 27 goals on only 107 shots last year. If your league uses Sh% then Ribiero had a phenomenal 25.2% shooting percentage. Ribiero's SH% is actually so good that he is ranked number one in the league, 5 percentage points higher then the next closest skater. In contrast he is ranked an abysmally low 276th in total shots on goal. Ribiero has value in either format but his value skyrockets in a SH% league.

Those are the basics for skaters. For Goaltenders the statistics looked at are:

W: Wins. Self explanatory

GAA: Goals against average. The number of biscuits on average that pass by the goalie and into the basket. As the basket gets fuller so the GAA rises. Here high is bad.

SV%: The percentage of shots faced vs goals allowed. As more goals go in the save percentage goes down. Here high is good.

SO: Shutouts. When the goalie allows no biscuits in the basket... showing no sympathy while the other team to goes hungry.

While there are traditionally fewer goalie categories, good goalies are extremely valuable since there are so few of them (to be discussed later in position scarcity).

A good fantasy team will find a way to balance out all of these statistics (as there are few if any players which will contribute in every category either as forwards or goaltenders).

That's sort of a quick rundown... Any questions class?